My first Daughter (from a daughter)
by Deja K. Taylor
I am not a man
a junior is a son
who has the same first name as his father
The son will always want to be brave
in front of his father
honored
So I will name my first daughter Jade
and say "I always hinted at you in my poems."
Jade is how you spell Deja unscrambled
Means semi-precious stone
a color
an erotic crime film released in 95'
a fictional character
software
scarlet letter
tenacity
strength
toughness
a Japanese World War II cipher machine
Baby-girl I've been careful
come closer to making you from lust than love
We real young
drunk off the hypnotic blue of house party strobe lights
We real grown
hormonal balance tipping the scale
the smoke stack of Axe that exits a room after the deed
Loveless
I've got friends who went gloveless
These new-jack Oj Simpsons are only quipped with clinics
as their Johnny Cochrans
and baby's should be deliberate
Happenstances
but we are green
brand-new
not fully ready for you
Jade
your name engraved
with scalpel blade
We'll chant it
Not quite ready for motherhood
not ready for fatherhood
Ready for feel good
ready for feel good
ready for feel good
We should but
we should but
we should but
Ready for feel good
ready for feel good
Mitosis got us real good
Not ready for fathering
ready for bartering
I can't be no father to Jade
I can't be no mother to jade
Are we brave
Are we brave
"you did this"
"I did this"
No I did this
I'll do this.
I'll help.
Not ready
not ready
not ready
To be producers
of minerals
of fictional characters
of scarlet letters
of a World War II cipher machine